well i was gonna up date but umm i cant really think of much to talk about but heres some pics :

christmas

other pics

wow well i'm sick of being single it's no fun school sucks and well work does too:0(  oh well life goes on. i miss you all in nevada and i think i'm coming back for my b-day. i just have to see if i can rent a car i'm hoping so or your all gonna have to cart my ass around:0/

ahh i guess i don't like bloging much anymore i'm more into myspace now http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6221 if you want to look at it. i've been doing peoples myspace pages with backgrounds and stuff. i should get paid for this shit lol.

lets see lately i've been hangin out with some guys i had 2 dates over the weekend. both good guys. it's very hard for me to chose between them both they both have good personality, good looks, talkitive, sens of humor. ahh i't so hard.blah. so i guess we'll see what happens i'm not sure if one of them is going to call me again but we'll see if he doesn't call me by thurs i think i'll give him a call. i just hope i have someone for valentines day!lol.

anyways...i went to a hooka lounge man is that fun i'm going again tomorrow night. we had a mango flavored hooka. i think tomorrow night where having cherry and strawberry mix. yummy.

school is hard i have a test in buisness on 3 chapters 50 questions. sucky stuff. i hope i do good otherwise it will make me bummed all night. then i have 6 quizes in my reading class on wed. blah. school is sucking the fun outta life. but my reading class is way easy just very time consuming.

well my life is pretty boring besides the dates.i saw "are we there yet?" and "white noise" both good movies. white noise is weird and predictable.

okay then end comment me and if you want look at my myspace page. the end.

well i was thinkin that i would change my blog but i don't know what my theme should be help me out!leave me some comments.

first off i just want to say R a i n R a i n G o A w a y C o m e B a c k A n o t h e r  D a y (boredum) rained all day today.

it was so good to see my god baby. i know she's a baby but man does she wine a lot lol but she's so damn cute so it makes up for it. she wakes up way to early for my liking!

also i started school on wed i can tell it's going to suck the fun outta my life. i thought i only had classes on wed and thurs but i have classes on tues wed thurs. i felt so stupid i walked in there and all these people where doin stuff but i guess i wasn't the only one who missed the introduction. so oh well. lifes okay.

so i hung out with this guy he's really nice kinda cute but he's way to skinny for me he weighs the same amount that i do. i don't think i could date someone who weighs the same amount that i do he looks so skinny cause he's 5'10. so i dunno what will happen with that.

today i went and got my check and my hours, went to the bank, walgreens to get my pics, the mall, and i think thats it. later on tonight i'm going out to dinner with my friend and i think thats all for tonight.

okay the end.

update time! today was a very uneventful day(i expected more to happen i guess): i woke up, took a shower, went to work, got my tongue pierced(spur of the moment thing), came home excercised, and then hung out with the neighbor, after that i watced sex and the city hehe good show.

what else?!? i think the neighbor kid likes me ya i don't like him like that. he has bangs like  a fuckin girl i dunno if thats a chicago thing or if it's just him?but they look like when a little girl use to cut there bangs when they where wet and then when they dryed they where all the way up to the top of there forhead. looks gay if you ask me.

hmm oh yeah my court date is on feb 25 once again i'm scared lastime i didn't have a reason to be i got there and all they did was give me a court date.hehe. so i'm kinda glad nothing went on that day. but my court date is on a wed when i have school. sucky. oh well though it's like 5 hours before i have to be at school.

well i think i'm gonna go find something soft to eat my tongue is still numb lol it's weird well i guess it's swollen but it feels numb.

k the end.

why can't i get over my ex?why do i still cry about him? it's been 7 months... i don't know why i even cry about him. i guess i'm just a fuckin emotional person and set myself up for emotions when i talk to him. i mean i ask stupid questions that shouldn't even pertain to me anymore.but i'm curious and it just hurts to know stupid stuff grrrr.

anyways..tomorrow i'm going down to the court. i just hope my car makes it there because 2 days ago my dad had to fix it i'm just worried! whatever everything is going wrong in my life and its all happening at once.

i asked my friend to tell her ex bf to find me a bf lol i'm so lonely it's not even funny. i feel desprate it's sad. i hate my life at the moment.

if i'm not on anytime soon it could be cause i'm in jail.

k i'm done the end!

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
To wrestle an aligator.

Get your resolution here

this one could really apply to me considering theres an alligator in the pound behind my house.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

i want everyone who visits my blog to tell me what your new years resolution is, and why?!?

mine is to lose 20 pounds and to find a bf lol. reasonings why maybe if i lose 20 pounds i can gain a bf. hmm who knows though if not i'll gain self confidence!

hope everyone has a great 2 5

so tomorrow i wake up, go to work from 10:30 to 2, then i think i'm gonna go look for the court and i may go inside. but i'm so scared that they will put me in jail and i don't want to have to ruin my image to my parents so i figure that i might just find it and go whenever my grandma and her bf are gone. the cop said i'd probably just get community service but i don't have time for that so i'm hoping i just get a fine or something.

anyways i think we might go to st. augustine tomorrow.i'm not sure though my mom wanted to find a new years flag. she's strange sometimes.haha. my grandma's bf is driving me insane i cant wait to go to work so i can get out of this house away from him!!

so my new years resolution is to lose 20 pounds i dunno if i'll be able to do it but i'm gonna try to. i've definatly been eatting lighter portions and tonight i only ate dinner. i know its not good to starve your self and thats not what i was trying to do today i was just running errands all day and didn't have a chance to eat anything.

anyhow...i got another e-mail from my ex thats in Brazil he's only there for another 9 weeks then we'll plan a time when we get to see eachother. probably spring break. i need to save my money! i guess he's moving to Utah. crazy stuff. i wish he wouldn't so that way when i come to visit people in carson he'd be there but oh well. what can i do.

well i think thats all i have to say.

this was the worst day of my life...lets just say that cops where involved and it wasn't pretty. actually it wasn't to bad but my initial reaction stumpt me. i was so scared. i'm deathly affraid of cops i know that there every day normal people. ahh i guess its the intimidation thing. but anyhow i got "arrested" without the cuffs so that was okay. i just have a long day ahead of me i think i'm going down to the court on thurs so wish me luck with that.

anyways i really wish that i could find a guy to enter my life. i've been here for 4 months now and don't even have a guy friend. well i mean i have my neighbors brother but i've only hung out with him twice and no offense he's not bf material. mainly because of the fact that he doesn't have his license and his mom makes him feel guilty whenever he leaves the house. poor guy!

anyways my grandma and her bf are here again.

i saw meet the fockers tonight it was so funny and i get to see it again tomorrow so ya for that.

i got a clear nose ring for work today it was expensive though 10 bucks for 1 it was a rip off but i really need it.

well thats the end of my day

the end.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY AND GET EVERYTHING YOU WANTED. IF I DON'T TALK TO YOU GUYS BEFORE THE FIRST OF THE YEAR HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY. HAVE A GOOD ONE BYE.

the title is basically an outline of my day.

so today was a very sad day..it was the anniversary of my grandpas death! i miss him so much i try not to show it around my dad because i know it will make things worse for him. he was a great guy who showed love to everyone and i really wish he could be here for christmas but noooooooooooooooooo.

k anyways....i got an e-mail from one of my ex's who's in Brazil god he's so sweet!i still totally love him to death.

tomorrow i work from 9am-12am fun stuff. i'm thinkin not.customers are so rude...and they never understand that i'm just tryin to do my job and get it done well but they have to be pain in the asses!

so this creapy ass guy was like oh my god you are so beautiful i just had to come through your line to tell you that you are so beautiful i know i'm to old for you since your like 17 right?!? and i'm like no 19 and he's like oh i'm still old bye beautiful...so my manager had to drive me to  my car cause i was affraid he was gonna be in the parking lot waiting for me lol. scary shit.

another scary thing those babou things or however you spell it there fuckin scary ass toys i don't see how little kids can like them.

k the end i have to go so i can wake up and work all over again.

so today i found out that one of my old bestfriends Jadee is getting married yay i'm so happy for her. but she hasn't known the guy for very long from what i hear and also he's in the army but hey i'm glad that she found the man of her dreams to marry. i feel like i'll never find the one to love. at one point in time i thought i was in love. well actually i was it just never lasted long due to me being dumb. i miss everything about having a relationship.

okay enough complaining. today was rather boring i just worked at Publix , came home, hung out with the neighbors, went and got pizza. so it was an okay day.

i keep thinkin about college i have to go take an english placement test over again because i did poorly on. i'm so horrible with tests. i have a long year ahead of me i'm taking some buisness courses math and english if i do well and a reading class that is mandatory. i hate reading unless its a magazine.

what else is new? not really to much. this guy i know from one of my classes got in an accident and flipped his truck 10 times, thank god he's okay god was definatly watching over him.

i feel very brave last night i talked to two guys up in the break room and another guy that i think is cute. i work with a ton of hot guys. i think one of the guys i talked to is younger than me and still in high school but he was still nice and the other guy might be a litle older than me and the cute guy might be my age or maybe a year younger who knows. can't help who i think is cute.right?!?

i can't wait to go see meet the fockers! i loved meet the parents except for the part when the girl get hit in the nose with the football in the pool that part grosses me out.

k the end!

so today went kinda sucky. i was workin at target and i was ringin up this old couple and this lady just starts yellin at me for no fuckin reason i mean i know i shouldn't be complaining but this bitch really pissed me off she's like that should be the same price as the pants which the color reds wern't even the same and then she call me "little ms. helper" or some shit like that at least i think she was talkin about me and she said i had an attitude but i don't make the fuckin prices i just ring people up so i have no idea what i fuckin did. the only thing i said was the price tag doesn't have a clearence sticker on it and it's ringin up the price on the price tag and the bitch says that. grrr i'm so glad i'm only workin at target till the 7th of january because the next week i start school.  good note at work theres this really hot guy who looks like stiffler off of american pie and dean off of gilmore girls. he's really cute but doesn't even know i exsist. i need to learn to approach people more. i mean i bought a icey today just so i could talk to him but i didn't know how to approach him so i just bought it and said hi nothing to extream. i really need to get over the fear of rejection! otherwise i'll never meet a guy and i'll die alone. i'm just so use to guys aproaching me but it was fuckin Carson and i mean every girls pretty much equally hot compaired to the pretty barbie girls that are out here i feel like fuckin "shit ran over twice" compaired to every girl out here. k the end on that. but yay for the hot guy.

in a way i can't wait to start school but then again i don't want the hastle of school. but oh well what can ya do a degree can't magically appear. i got upsetting news from the college i have to take my 2 english classes that i already took over again because i did bad on this surprise test. and i have to take a mandatory reading class.what kinda shit is that. the upsetting news is that this will put me back a whole year for english and the english and reading classes are 8 hours each it just sucks becasuse i should be in 101 for english now but i guess the ones i took in Nevada wern't transferable. so the lady told me that i have to take the english and reading class this semester but i have one more try for the english and if i pass the test i can just go into 101 but i'm so bad at doing tests i'm just affraid that i'm going to have to be in this lower english class and because its 8 hours long and i have to take the reading too i wont be able to take any other classes  this year and it's going to take me 5 years to graduate instead of 4. i dunno everything is going wrong right now.grrrrrrr growl!

what else has been new? lets see i got an e-mail from an ex who's in Brazil. i miss him lots.oh well though hopefully i'll get to see him in june or july when i go down there.hmm what else. i've been seein a lot of movies lately..i saw the "saw" last night it was kinda a lame movie but there was this clown lookin figure thing and it scared the shit out of me...i'm like deathly affraid of clowns and not because of that stupid movie "it" but because when i went to my first circus a clown pinched my checks and said something but all i know is it freaked me the fuck out.

anyways this will be the first Christmas in like 3 years that i wont be getting a gift from a guy i hate being single and new to the area. i mean it's bad enough not having a bf but it's even worse not having my friends close to me during the holidays i miss everyone so much especially now.

this Christmas just wont be the same because last year on the 23 my grandpa died and we just have to think about that i know my dad's going to be sad. i cry anytime i think about him or see a pic of him.i don't know how my dad's so strong about it. i mean i know he cares and he cares about it a lot i just hope i don't see him cry because it will make me cry harder. i mean i know it's been a year but i still greve over it.

okay i think i'm done i need some sleep. hope everyone has a great day/night and if i don't update before Christmas i hope everyone has a good one and gets everything that they want!

well i figured i should update. it's been a while... well i really liked this guy that i work with at Publix but the other day i saw him in Target with his gf so i decided i shouldn't like him anymore. it's to bad too he smelled really good and was so nice! oh well though.

so i've moved on and i really like this other guy that i work with at Target! the only problem is he doesn't even know i exsist and plus he's my manager. it's funny like every time i close with him he says: "are you a minor" i'm like no!! you just asked me that last night he's like sorry i have to ask so that way i make sure i don't keep minors past 10 otherwise i'm screwed. haha.

anyways i finally hung out with the neighbors brother! he's really nice and not shy like his brother said he was it was funny. i'm like he thinks your shy! i dunno though he payed for mine and my friends movie it was fun. then we walked my neighbors dogs there so cute. tomorrow night he's goin to the football game with us i wont get back till 1am so yay for that. i hope it doesn't rain! that would suck.hehe. it's sapposed to be cold though so i'm wearing a sweater and a jacket.

hmm what else...umm i'm sick and i don't fuckin like it lol but who does? i really hope it goes away last time i was sick, i was sick for three months. it sucked balls.

k the end i'll write more lata.

so last night i worked 12 hours tonight i worked 14 and still had time to go out and have fun at the club! yay for that. no one really hit on my just old guys that where gross. show's how cute i am.blah. anyways if it wasn't for my feet i would be okay at work. i haven't really been tired but i'm sure it will hit me soon. today i went to work of two hours of sleep and coffee. lol. it was an eventful day i started out workin at target from 6am to 2:30pm and the people where crazy in there, they where ramming people with carts, grabing things from eachother, and fighting over shit they where acting so childish. i mean half the time there was another model of what they wanted right next to it the people where just pickin up the same one at the same time and fighting over it,it  was stupid.

i guess the day after thankgiving doesn't really apply to grocery stores because publix was dead when i got there and i was stuck there from 4-10:30 let me tell ya fun stuff. i pretty much just talked to people.

tomorrow wont be to eventful sleepin in takin a shower going to work at target 4-11.fun stuff let me tell ya. i'm thinkin not!

okay the end i'll up date more later sometime i need some sleep considering i've been up for 20 1/2 hours and only got 2 hours last night after workin a 12 hour shift that night crazy shit my body just didn't want to sleep but after 14 hours i know i'm gonna sleep well at least i  hope! lata.

hey everyone,

how's it goin? okay here i guess. i'm in a really bad mood because of work. today was such a shitty day. i got to work and time went by really slow, then one of the front end managers yelled at me he's such a fuckin cocky little bitch; he yelled at me because i was lookin for register tape behind this counter and he freaked the fuck out and was all "your not aloud back here" and i'm like "i'm not gonna do anything" so he gave me the tape and i gave him a dirty look and he's all "your not alound past this line so i gave him another dirty look and he says i'm being dead serious dead serious" i just wanted to kick him in the face so hard that he would have to get plastic surgery! then i was tryin to ring up garlic and it wasn't fuckin workin and this cashier bitch was baggin and like had her hand out and was like tryin to grab it from me then something else didn't work and i sighed and she said breath like she was fuckin something. stupid bitch. and to top my whole bad day off i locked my keys in my car luckly i had a spare not that,that mattered because my battery fuckin died because i have day running lights and my actual lights where on so it drained my batter i couldn't even take my key outta the ignition. so i had to have my dad come down jump start me and then drive home that only took another half hour and all i wanted to do was go home! blah *sigh* i'm really begining to hate my life nothing is going right!

at least thanksgiving is on thurs. i'll get to sleep in and relax all day. tomorrow i have to work 12 between both jobs so i'll be really tired.  then the day after thanksgiving i work 14 hours once again i'm gonna die hehe.  i have to start my day at 5am that day..sucky stuff.

hmm what else to talk about: i'm really tired so i think i'm just gonna go to bed now and i'll update more lata when i get a chance. miss ya all bye. leave me some comments so i have something to read  when i get home from work.

so today i started at my second job. all together this week i have 71.30 hours with both my jobs! wow thats a lot of hours but a lot of hours= a lot of money which makes me happy hehe. i plan on saving as much money as i can so i can move out soon probably wont move out till next june or something. will see.

i feel like a loser most of my friends have moved out or are moved out and i'm still stuck at home:0( don't get me wrong i love my parents and all but i don't like being around them all the time hehe.

i probably wont update much or even get on the computer much now that i'm gonna be workin all the time. the day after thanksgiving i work 14 hours crazy shit. it's probably going to be boring but oh well at least i have thanksgiving off for both jobs. but i'm really happy because i have the 5th-8th off so i can go to the jaguars game on the 5th which is at night so thats kinda cool we'll probably get home at 1 in the mornin;and go see my god baby for her birthday from the 6-8. cool stuff.

hmm what else?!? the weather is still nice here so yay for that it was 80 today during the day.it gets pretty cold at night though.

my brother is ignoring me or something?!? Brother why do you ignore me! do you hate me now or something?*sighs*:0(

anyways i think thats all i have to say. miss you guys bye!

so tonight i went to bourbon street station i had a lot of fun. at first it was so boring! but theres 5 clubs in one it was pretty cool but i really only like 2 of the clubs. anyways i had to leave all early not by choice the girl i went with wanted to leave because this one guy was a fuckin leach! lol but at the end i was dancing with this really really hot guy! boy was he hot lol.:0) i can't get him outta my thoughts so hopefully he'll be there next week. hmm i guess will see. i'll probably end up going every week or every other week now! so yay for that.

man i shoulda got that guys #. oh well maybe next week. haha when we got there we went in one of the clubs and this guy was singin haha he sucked then these like 30 year olds came and sat down next to us and started talkin they where nice but drunk haha. so they asked if i wanted to dance a slow dance i said no so they asked the girl i was with and she danced with one of the guys and the other one went to the bath room lol then some 50 year old guy asked me to dance i was like nu uh fuck that hehe.

random fact i smell like smoke now eww. smoking should be out lawed lol. it's not good for anyone and it smells like shit but oh well cant stop people from doin what they love to do.

well kids i have to go shower so i don't smell like smoke. leave me some comments people i'm really bored and want to talk to someone! so if you visit my page leave me one!lata.

so today was a weird day. i didn't really do much but run errands with my mom. but while running errands i kept thinkin about weird stuff. i think i want to get my tounge pierced but my mom said she'd disown me and kick me out. i don't see what the big deal is i mean i have my nose bellybutton and ears pierced. but whatever.

i had such a weird dream last night i cant even remember it all i know is my ex boyfriend was in it and it was just weird lol i hate that.

anyways, i feel really apprehensive about starting college again. i mean i've already changed my mind on what i want to do for the 3rd time. it's really time for me to decided. i'm just not smart enough for college i try and study but i can never remember things when it comes to tests i feel like a total idiot. i feel like my life will never be what i want it to be.

i'm in a depressed mood i don't know why, i think it's mainly because i feel i cant live without my friends in Carson. i mean i've gone through everything with them i've known most of my friends from when i first moved to Carson when i was 4. in a way i wish we never moved. also because i really hate big change and moving was a huge change. also i'm really lonely i mean i have one friend out here thats not enough for me lol. i really want a bf i've been single for 5-6 i really hate it.

anyways what else...it's my daddy's b-day on sat yay for that he'll be 46. crazy stuff.

okay the end!